White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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