I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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