I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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