Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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