i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize