but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
