coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
