She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
