totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize