Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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