youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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