The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
