apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You have to summon your inner elephant
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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