Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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