my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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