these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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