Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
