The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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