dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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