ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
me + whiskey = a bad person
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
