I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
