you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my poor anus
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
