just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
