It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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