Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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