did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize