Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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