I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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