Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
