maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
