So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
