Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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