The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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