Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
they're like a gay fantastic four
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize