Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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