Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize