she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have post one night stand depression
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
