Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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