p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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