I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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