i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
