i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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