I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
