the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
