He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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