That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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