So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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