at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
