Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we made out on top of his cat.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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