YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
