It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
