You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
