Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
