I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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