i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
