if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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