Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
