tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
organizing the empties. That sober.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
