i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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