Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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