i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
