I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
