Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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