My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
