When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
