you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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