I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
