u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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