Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
